'Is that real fire?': Renaissance fair workers reveal the funniest things guests have ever said to them

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Jun 15, 2024 3:00 PM EDT

The employees at these Renaissance Fairs love their jobs, and they have a few eyebrow-raising stories to share.

Out of all the jobs in the world, working at a Ren Fair seems like one that could be endless fun. Sure, the costumes get hot in the summer heat, and sometimes people act up, but it seems like most of these actors really enjoy their work. They show up every day in historically accurate costumes and interact with guests. When done right, it's an immersive LARP experience that's fun for kids and adults alike. 

U/emax4 asked the folks of Reddit to share their absolute craziest stories from their ren fair days, and more than 3,000 people did! You can check out a bunch of excellent stories below. Alongside the crazy tales, it's a fun look at what it's like to work at a renaissance fair, since guests don't normally know what goes on behind the scenes. If you've never been to one, maybe these stories will inspire you to seek one out and see it all for yourself. 

Next up, this woman decided to push her luck and request that a local gardener trim her yard for free, even though it wasn't really their job in the first place. 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10361137408
    via Cas Holmes on Unsplash
  • 02
    [Serious] Renaissance Fair (RenFaire) employees, what are the funniest/craziest/horrific tales from working there?
    via u/emax4
  • 03
    SerLaron Question from a child at a cooking fire: "Is that real fire?" Mother: "No, they had no fire back then." And then there was the helpful visitor who picked up the red-hot piece of iron that the blacksmith had dropped accidently.
    via u/SerLaron
  • 04
    tititanium One time, at the MN one, we had a woman that left her purse with over $35000 at one of the food booth tables. Another time, one of the crafters kids got lice, within a weekend, all the crafters kids had lice.
    via u/tititanium
  • 05
    Fair management has been rumored to at least twice have set fire to the place to destroy documents and stuff.
    via u/tititanium
  • 06
    Shortyh21 I worked the Colorado Renaissance Festival my senior year in High school. I would stay in the back behind the bar where we served drinks and fill up cups. Every freakin day, this guy who had geese would come in and sit in the outside area. He could see me making drinks and he
    via u/Shortyh21
  • 07
    would just sit there and stroke his stupid geese. One by one he would pick up his goose and slowly stroke it, never leaving his unnerving eyes from me. Honestly creeped me out.
    via u/Shortyh21
  • 08
    tcgunner90 I've been with the festivals for years now and I've got a couple stories. So this happened to some of my buddies. They ship glitter for use in their fairy themed booths at fest. They have a large white van and were traveling down Arizona.
    via u/tcgunner90
  • 09
    They get stopped by border patrol, who pulls them over and asks them what they are transporting. The driver, being a smart II says fairy paraphernalia". This of course gets their van searched. The cops find all these vacuum plastic bricks in the van. Now I bet you don't know, but the way glitter is transported in bulk is in vacuum plastic bricks. Looks
    via u/tcgunner90
  • 10
    exactly like bricks of drugs from TV or movies. The cop grabs one and asks the driver what this is. The driver (still being a smart says "I'd like to exercise my right to remain silent" So the cop pulls out a pocket knife to open the brick. The driver says "officer, I wouldn't do that if I were you".
    via u/tcgunner90
  • 11
    I bet you don't know that when you vacuum pack a powder and then break the seal it explodes... The officer stabs the brick, which causes 5 pounds of glitter to explode all over him. The officer's partner busts out laughing and says to his partner "oh no, you're not getting in my squad car like that"
    via u/tcgunner90
  • 12
    So if you're ever driving down I-10 in Arizona near the border. Be sure to say hello to Sargent sparkles
    via u/tcgunner90
  • 13
    maschine01 Some guy this yr jumped into the show and stole a characters sword. The characters wife (wife in real life as well) jumped on the guy and got him in a choke hold until police arrived. Bad woman.
    via u/maschine01
  • 14
    UmiZee I remember I was working one day and there was a fair virgin (someone who had never been to the fair before) going through the tradition of being put in the stocks.
    via u/UmiZee
  • 15
    Immediately after he was put in there, a large group of children ran up and started beating him with wooden and foam swords. I would've felt sorry for him if I wasn't busy trying not to laugh.
    via u/UmiZee
  • 16
    jus... This isn't as crazy as some of what's posted on here but it's pretty funny. Back when I was in high school I worked at SCRPF. A teacher who taught at my school also worked there. He played the tax collector. So this one time another performer friend of ours was eating cookies. The tax collector walks up and with his mean tax collector face says
    via u/justjezplox
  • 17
    "Cookie tax!" Our friend didn't know what to do as he had pretty much just put the last cookie in his mouth while the tax collector was talking. So being the good improviser he was, he spit some cookie back into his hand and presented it to the tax collector.
    via u/justjezplox
  • 18
    The tax collector paused for a second, said "Thank you." and ate the pre-chewed cookie out of my friend's hand! Talk about commitment to a bit! Edit: SCRPF = Southern California Renaissance Pleasure Faire
    via u/justjezplox
  • 19
    thatgirljeangrey It's been ten years since I've been on the actor/guild/employee side, but I remember a few: I was there when the Mythbusters filmed their first attempt at splitting an arrow in half. They sent a camera through our pavilion where I looked as noble as I could manage, but it wasn't used in the show. I'm glad I
    via u/thatgirljeangrey
  • 20
    wasn't the fan I was a couple years later, or I'd have acted like an idiot. Tory, Kari and Grant were nice. The whole crew was. Different faire, different guild. Showed up, set up, heat and poor advertising led to nearly zero patrons. We were
    via u/thatgirljeangrey
  • 21
    miserable and ready to go home, some of my people. were sick. Seeing the tiny Faire's head honcho driving around the park in her SUV with a margarita in her hand (and not her first) after hours motivated me to GTFO.
    via u/thatgirljeangrey
  • 22
    Omvega I worked at a shop that sold "baby dragons" aka green anoles. They are very small, calm, friendly lizards and once you hold them for a few minutes they get used to your body heat and will chill with you all day. They also have green/brown/yellow color changing camouflage.
    via u/Omvega
  • 23
    My job was to stand outside the shop and let people pet them. My favorite part was letting them pet the one I was holding in my hand, then pulling two or three more off various parts of my costume and scaring the out of the unsuspecting patrons with the extra lizards.
    via u/Omvega
  • 24
    RhymeAndReason So I do middle eastern drumming and flute for a belly dance show. In between show times I would often walk around with the belly dancers to advertise for our next show and interact with the patrons. One fateful day as I was escorting three beautiful dancers a mostly drunk guy jumps in front of our path holding up a wooden sword
    via u/RhymeAndReason
  • 25
    and yells, "I'll fight you for them!" I say, "Friend, I do not think the Sultan would permit it." Then we just try to keep walking trying to laugh it off. He points his sword at me and says again, "I'll fight you for them!" Honestly I am pretty scared at this point. He is being pretty aggressive and he is
    via u/RhymeAndReason
  • 26
    noticeably drunk. At this point his friends have noticed and they are all laughing at him, and certainly not stepping in to calm him down. I just roll with it and take out my Egyptian flute, called a Ney, and make a challenge. "We are not fighters, but entertainers so I challenge. you to a duel. I will play my flute and you will show this motley crowd your no doubt
    via u/RhymeAndReason
  • 27
    amazing dance moves and then we shall let them decided who wins." Without waiting for an answer I start playing my flute and he starts dancing. The belly dancers are cheering him on and his friends are laughing. He is horrible...and drunk. I motion to him while still playing to follow me and I start walking backwards. I actually lead this poor drunk
    via u/RhymeAndReason
  • 28
    sap off the path and out of our way. I then in one motion swoop around him, grab the girls, and say, "Ah Thank you very much I do believe I win." We continue on our way leaving the drunk fool and his friends laughing and pointing at him. We laughed and I gave a huge sigh of relief. By far the coolest and most tense moment at the Faire.
    via u/RhymeAndReason
  • 29
    cu... I worked at the hall of oddities, in charge of a live 2 headed turtle and all sorts of other curiosities. We had a "unicorn skull" in one room, and I overheard a shocked little girl say to her mother "MOM. They KILLED a unicorn for this!"
    via u/cursecursecurse
  • 30
    Her mom said "No, honey, I'm sure they didn't, they found the skull, the unicorn died of natural causes." The girl shot back a dark look and said, "Mom, NO. Unicorns are immortal." Huh, good point kiddo....
    via u/cursecursecurse
  • 31
    Swichts This will get burried but I have to share. I went to ren fest about 10 years ago. While hanging out, there's a performance happening. A guy is standing on a box, shouting out to the audience. He starts pretend shooting imaginary arrows at the audience. This one guy in the crowd gets "hit", and
    via u/Swichts
  • 32
    really gets into it. He drops to the ground, begins twitching, foaming at the mouth...and holy he's actually having a seizure. (Horrific). So the ren fest worker realizes what's going on, and runs to get help. In his dedication to his craft, he plows through the crowd yelling "CLEAR THY PATH!! CLEAR THY PATH!!" (Funniest).
    via u/Swichts

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opinion costume ask reddit guests renaissance funny stories kids askreddit fair funny opinions
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